hey. okays update? many many things happen.

1. im LOST!
- with myself
- with priority
- with EVERYTHING

2. im okay i guess haha!

3. studies studies studies

4. getting my life back

5. hot Hot HOT ahem*

6. screwed up ******

7. overall: im happy(:


haha. okays tats all. don wanna say much haha! wanna know ask me(:

btw i miss you all! ak! rach! many many more):
& i just find out i am not such a bad girl afrer all.

hello(:

a piece of me missing?
that is how i would describe e highlight of my life now(:
bleahs. sometimes im just waiting for that big clock t move faster!
but its okay i'll deal with it like a mature adult. but how i ask u?
everywhere u end up every clique u move towards to. you will always be there t pull me down.
i can never hav a life of my own if this continues.
is it normal t cry after a great day out with ur peeps?
when practically i wasnt even there. i was jus a background once again.
ahhh! bring me back please.

am i dead or alive?




DEAD!


okays, another confession.
a crush on a beautiful soul
who? oh wells it doesnt matter..
but still n yet i let myself into it.
if u had actually see me. maybe just maybe..
but now lets just wait for time to tell.

HELLO(:

HAPPY BDAY T ME!well on 1st march la.

1st march
okay that day was emotional for me. i guess expecting sth from someone n not receiving even a 1% from that person will LITERALLY crush you! thats wad happened. DEN, that very ppl i cared for SOO MUCH, didt put any effort but wad de hell. i guess mayb jus mayb i don mean anything t em. haiz.

BUT

who made my day!
i shall list these ppl!

RACHEL
thank you! seriously i am TOUCHED! t e bottom of my heart! u gave me strength! shit im gonna cry. hehe. words are not enough for me t tell u how much u made an impact in my life! hahaha. thank you(: for being who u are.

AIN
my baby sister. ILOVEYOU la. haha thank you! i hav nvr rejected u as my sis n now i know why. haha. (: thank you

AUDI, SHAHRUL, MING JIE, KAH HO, SOK HUY ETC.
hahaha! thanks for being there!(:

SELINA, ABI, VALO, JAS ETC.
(: thank you for remembering! really just those simple words from u guys, makes my heart warmer(:

H.A
hehe u know who u are. thank you(:

HAFSAH, FATHIN, EUNICE, ZANNO, PEARLYN
hey! thanks for still standing here right beside me for all this years. thats all i need from u guys. (but still how much i wish u guys know how much u affected me, but its okay.)

THE REST!
THANK YOU! from the bottom of my heart! ((:

soo shall i summarise it? NEH haha.
adam khoo!
another thing. HE MADE ME CRY LIKE OMFG. made me wanna vomit n my head was super heavy! i asked myself why of all days tday my bday it had t hav all this shit. n guess wad?
IT WAS A REALITY CHECK FOR ME! N I THANK YOU! haha. i shall n will rmb this day for e rest of my life!

2nd march

well, mum came t e thingy. at least she came. all that was redundant.
she still dont see the picture. how sad. but at least i made an effort t change things arnd the hse.


that very words that shut me from opening t u for e very first time in my LIFE. everything is not bcos of $$. i DONT NEED $$$! seriously all i ever wanted was ur love, acceptance, PRESENCE!, n support. ive changed, cried like mad, cause i tot of how selfish n disrespectful towards u. when u were sitted at e hall were u even listening n doing ur part? ur just happy i am changing. but hav u? u jus shut me up like always...

it is going t be this way for e rest of my life?
i suppose soo...

is this weird or wad? i find comfort in writting blogss. hmmm.
soo u can tell when i update my blog im jus plain bored or jus very troubled.
well i guess u can tell why im blogging now.


to e one person ive let down;
dear you:im sorry. if u don really know how much im truly sorry and guilty i feel rite now; im telling all of u now. i hav been a lousy fren, stubborn listener and terrible fren. oh k ive mentioned tat alr. anyways, i hope its not on purpose or wadsnot. im jus very preoccupied with myself. i guess ive been too selfish. and again putting myself above others is a very rare thing for me. i guess with everything thats gg on this is e only way t recuperate myself. im not taking care of myself tats one thing for sure. for my love ones i'll try t be strong.wads e best medicine?love?friends?it seem t good t be true;

t e one person i love; cared for n ... my lil sis
i know u wont be reading this but yea...

hav u ever felt like ur less of urself because of someone else. everytime ur there, my existence is soo much lesser t everyone else. or mayb its jus me. anyways, its difficult for me t be ur big sister as well as my crazy self when ur there. e burden is extra. everything seem heavier. my frens starts t drift away.everything tat once made me smile n laugh makes me weep now. its not fair t u. but taking care of you 24 hours is not a pretty job. i cannot let myself t be there and act im fine when seriously i rather jus walk away den feel tat way. arhg. i tot it'll be easier if i actually drift away from my frens n u. but e only happiness i knew was em n you. how? i ask u. i jus hav t accept it.

and now with everything said n done;
im standing alone;



-hearing those words makes me weep...

rachie is kind enough t send me e questions(: THANK YOU YAH?! soo here it is!


-5years ago(i was)

i was 10? i cant rmb! haha

- 5snacks which i enjoy

ooo! soo many, e very nice biscuits/choclates/chips/gummy/choc biscuits from MARKS&SPENCER

- 5songs which i know all the lyrics

fergilicious, MY LOVE, irreplaceable, GET UP, like i love you, cry me a river

- 5things i'll do if i had a million dollars

I'd SCREAM 'WOHOO!!!', treat my frens, put 70% in my savings (travel arnd e world!), 10% give charity, 10% on my expenses, BUY A HOUSE!!!

- 5things i'll not wear

haversack! haha, i'll never wear NOTHING get me??, underwear, an armour?! haha a clown costume!, a pig costume! RIDICULOUS

- 5bad habits

short term memory!, must i say(: hehe i don wan!

- 5famous ppl i would date

JONATHAN LEONG, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, NATE(:, SHING GOON! (i don know his real name hehe), YUL/LU? GOON(:,

- 10people to do this quiz-

i think everybody do alr lar.
BOBO(as if she will ah?), YOU, i dunno):


7 things!

7things that make you freak:
alot lar; freaky ppl, freaky things, freaky images etc..

7books to be complimented:
i don read sorry! but a walk t remember is not bad

7wishes in your life:
a happy ending;
a healthy life (no illness or wadsoever);
find e one special person i'd wan t live my life with even aftr death; (i tot it was u)
meet someone who has great virtures; who i'll look up t
ppl arnd me friends fam etc, find their own happiness n nvr give up in life(:
seriously STOP GLOBAL WARMING
WORLD PEACE LOL:D


7friends you have in mind:
HAFsah BOBO
rachie(:
EUNICE dar;
AC
LY
PAthin
KL don forget-(LENE,YJ, jas,jacque, ak, many many more )

7favorite sports:
:D SOFTBALL
soccer
netball
ice skating
rollerblading
riding bike
:D BASKETBALL

7favorite artists:
J.LO
JONATHAN LEONG!!!
P.DIDDY
zach n cody!
LINDSAY LOHAN
T.I
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE :D how can i forget him!! how sexxist of me

7favorite songs:
my love- JT
irreplaceable- Beyonce
Get up- CIARA
fergelicious- Fergie
like i love you- JT
why u wanna go n do that- T.I
that girl-
e goong song


Over the seas we go,

which countries have you been to:
S'PORE
bali
malaysia-
TIOMAN
tats all)':

of which was the best: TIOMAN
favorite momets in a certain place: u really wanna know? every moment every second; when i was with you.

Nip tuck, anyone?

what color would you want your eyes to be:
BROWN or JACK BLACK or MISTY GREY

color of hair:
JACK BLACK or BROWN

the tone of your skin:
TANNED! GOLDEN BROWN haha!

how far apart your eyes to be:
wad kind of question is tat?!!?!?! NORMAL im happy with my eyes thank you(:

glasses/ no glasses:
NO GLASSES

how big your feet to be:
MY SIZE(: mayb a lil BIGGER one size UP size 5!

thick lips:
YES, i hav no upper lip )):

freckles/ warts:
i wanna KILL you! why would i wan WARTS?! SHISH i rather hav pimples than freckles; FYI they are permanent. soo no thank you(:

change of identity:
WHY?! did i witness a MURDER haha

change of name:
HMMM... NEH i lovee my name! ((: ALI!! HAHA

change of nationality:
FOR WAD?!

Get your lazy bum off the chair, sports you play/ played before:


favorite one:
BASKETBALL
SOFTBALL
NETBALL
if DANCING is a sport YES
SOCCER

sports you wna go for:
BASKETBALL
dancing?(: hehe
SOCCER
FOOTBALL!
RUGBY! HAHA

memorable experience in anyone of them:
memorable? every experience is memorable JUS TAT i cant REMEBER): lol

This ship never sinks,

2o friends off your head you're thinking of:
soo many; rachie, hafsah bobo, YOU, pathin, EUNICE, KL, LY, YJ, AC!, LENE, JAS AIYAH
SOO MANY.

the longest one you've known &kept in contact with:
EUNICE!:D PATHIN!:D HAFSAH!:D

the kind of friend you would hate:
e one who isnt TRUE t you despite ANYTHING

the 1 wish you would wna have for them:
for em t realise that; a true friend is one who will accept ur FLAWS, accept who u are with great respect n sincererity. one who will support but yet if he/she is in e wrong advise em but know where u stand in their life.

the 1 thing you would give to them:
my sincere smile((:

Partners please,

eye color:BROWN, BLACK
blonde/ brunette: BRUNETTE definately!
accent/ no accent: no fake accent pls, jus ur natural self(:
sweet voice: (:
moustache/ facial hair: anything as long its NEAT! n not like FOREST or sth haha!
family-orientated: okay i guess??
career-freak: i wld be a career freak soo wadever haahha!
tattoos: small ONE, not e ones covered ur whole body! EEE


RANDOM!


what gives you a headache:
STRESS, FEVER, SHARP NOISES, LACK OF FOOD, etc...
kiss a stranger:
do u think im a SLUT?! SHISH
do dares which requires you to talk to strangers:
why not?! haha! jus not an elderly or a retard (: tat'll be mean
embarrass yourself in front of the school for $1oo:
depends wads the dare??
smoked:
NO WAY!
drank:
even how tempting it is NO WAY!
been in an r/s:
yah, stupid!
woke up in the middle of the night &laughed like a hyena:
err no; not yet haha!
cracked:
YES
sung in the showers:
YES
what would you do in the snow:
roll in it!
what would you do in the rain:
DANCE!
what would you do under the sun:
PLAY! sweat? haha!
your dream house:
a antique house by the beach away from e CITY


New Years' Resolution you have in mind:

i would wan t focus on O LEVELS
achieve in sports -softball
everyday at least do a simple act of kindness
t learn from wad had happen this yr. (2006) learn from all my mistakes
nvr look back but look forward n live e present like theres no TOMORROW
get in touch with e friends ive forgotten
be a better person
be selfless
live my life t e fullest
be there for the ones who needs a fren
accept mistakes n tragedy n treat it like a blessing cause u'd be invincible as u grow n u'd be more experience with problems n be a stronger person than u are now.